Rhapsody
by thepurplepencil
Summary: What if, in another universe, I deserve you? [Reincarnation!Eruri][angst]


**a fic inspired tumblr-user cosmonaut-field and tumblr-user heichousface; also inspired by comedian gaby dunn's maybe in another universe.**

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**What if, in another universe, I deserve you?**

Levi turns his head slowly, ear muffled against his pillow, and stares with sleepy grey eyes at the hunched-over form of his Commander, working late into the night, candles flickering ever lower, pen scratching against paper without hesitation. The smell of coffee lingers even long after the blond man has finished the drink that Levi brought him, hours before the candles melted into pools of wax and withered black wicker.

**Hear me out**.

He watches when Irvin leans back in his chair, one hand pinching the bridge of his nose, the other hand still holding the pen. Ink splatters. Levi counts the dots of black on the cuff of Irvin's sleeve, feeling a tinge of irritated affection.

"Irvin," he croaks out, hoarsely, voice scratchy from lack of use while he slept, but clears into his normal intonation as he continues. "Read me the part about the ocean again. Please."

**Are you following?**

"The ocean?" Irvin repeats. He is as calm as ever, even at Levi's sudden piping. They had found a book, several days ago, when the first definite success of the Scouting Legion had been made: they had reached Eren's basement, in the ruins of Shiganshina, where Titans ran amok and the corpses of comrades were regurgitated as they sliced open each filthy giant.

They had found a book, a wondrous book filled with strange pictures and even stranger descriptions of things they had never dreamed about. The blond one, Armin, had explained to many members of the Scouting Legion that perhaps these things existed outside of their walls. Levi remembered his heart pounding as he traced the archaic words of the book, glanced at the blue of the drawing that accompanied the writing. Blue, like Irvin's eyes. The Corporal could have stared at the book for hours, but he relinquished his grip on it when Irvin folded it back into the vellum cover that was found along with the book and tucked it into the chest that they had brought along with them to the expedition. Later, they found more. An entire library. Levi's eyes were not the only ones that shone more brightly than usual when they made their laborious trek back to the safety of Wall Rose, half their forces decimated.

**Maybe there's a universe out there** **where we end up together.**

They had sat together in Irvin's office, poring over the books, Levi carefully marking all the pages he liked with blue bookmarks, Irvin smiling and writing down a few notes on subjects that interested him every so often. Together they read about the world outside their walls, together they built their subtle dreams that one day, Levi would see the ocean and Irvin would see his volcanoes.

**Maybe there's a universe out there where when I close my eyes at night, I'm not dreaming the way a normal person would**: **I'm seeing flashes of our lives in the another universe**.

"Irvin," Levi begs, voice harsher than he intends, because _damn it_, he wasn't going to lose Irvin, not here, not _now_ – not when they were so close to victory, so close to the freedom that they had dreamed of for years and years. "Irvin. _Irvin._" He presses his bloodied cloak into the mouth of the wound, a giant bloody chunk torn off by an aberrant before Levi could obliterate it. The Commander, still offering his calming, soothing, beautiful smile even when blood trickled steadily from the corner of his mouth, blood staining his teeth red, face bruised and battered, limbs shattered, body broken –

" – L… Levi."

The blond man's words are interrupted by the bubbling of blood in the back of his throat; the dark-haired man trembles as he grasps his Commander's hand, their grip slippery from blood – his or Irvin's, he could no longer tell; Levi blinks blood and tears out of his eyes, face twists as he tries to hold it all together – because Humanity's Strongest is not supposed to shed tears for his Commander of all people, his Commander that he has to stay strong for, he, him, Levi, Irvin's right hand, his loyal Corporal –

"I… promise," Irvin struggles to say, "I… promise that…"

Levi closes his eyes.

"One day, we'll… see the world together."

He lets his tears fall. The drops of salty water fall against the Commander's bloody uniform and bloodier face. His face contorts. He shakes silently, still holding Irvin's hand with both of his own.

Later, when Levi stands up again with the last of Irvin's memory still riding fresh in his thoughts, he lets himself be a little more reckless than he usually would be when he kills those goddamn fuckers.

**They're not simple dreams because I miss you, right**?

He wakes up with an unexpected prickling in his eyes. A glimpse of gold. Flashes of a deep green, marked with blue and silver. Wings. Flying. Freedom. It is so tangible. Levi feels a horrible wrenching sensation in his stomach as he lies in his bed, like a part of him has been torn out by colossal teeth and swallowed. Lost. Something he could never get back. The burning sensation that keeps building behind his eyes is almost unbearable; Levi has never wept a tear since the tender age of nine. He furrows his brow, dismissing the unpleasant sensation as he starts the day with considerably less enthusiasm than he usually does.

**Maybe there's a universe** **where – **

He feels terribly melancholic as he stares out into the waves, the constantly shifting waters, the blue, the blue, the _blue_ –

Like a twinge of regret, loss, and something strangely tender, because Levi's always loved the sea. The stormy grey skies close in on the pier, but the dark-haired man doesn't move. There's something anchoring him to the spot, like he's waiting for something. Someone.

**Maybe there's a universe where** **that's the life I want**.

"It's nice here, huh?" a kind voice asks, but Levi doesn't look to see who's talking to him. Frankly, he doesn't care – why does that voice sound so familiar? He feels warm when he hears those four words, he feels like he's just woken up from a deep sleep and he's in a warm and cozy candlelit environment, the smell of coffee lingering in his nose.

**Maybe there's a universe where I'm the right person for you**. **Where I adore every nice thing you did for me without starting to resent you**.

"Yeah," Levi says, off-handedly, leaning against the railing of the pier, watching the salt and water and sand wash repeatedly over the grey stones. "It is."

**A universe where you actually end up with someone who appreciates you. **

The man chuckles, and Levi freezes.

He's heard that laugh before.

**A universe where we're happy — without wondering if that happiness is some messed-up Jenga game ready to topple at the slightest quiver**.

Levi's grip on the wooden rail tightens until his knuckles turn white and he can't feel his fingers. He can hear his heartbeat in his ears, his heart pounds, the feeling is unbearable: each surge of blood is magnified by a tenfold and it feels like a thousand years in the two seconds it takes for him to let go of the rail and face the man, arms falling limply to his sides.

He knows those eyes.

(They're so _blue_.)

**Maybe there's a universe where we fall asleep next to each other every night, close to each other, my face buried in your neck, hugging your warmth — and we both don't want anything or anybody else. Where we don't want more, we just want each other.**

He remembers now. He knows why it feels so right when he looks at this man. He's been searching for this man his entire life, that certain shade of blond, that certain shade of _blue_, that voice, his stature, his posture, his _everything_ –

His chest tightens uncomfortably.

"Irvin," Levi says.

**You just found me in the wrong universe**.

The blond man turns at the sound of his name; Levi feels a jump in his heart. The taller man's expression mimics his own, changing from surprise, to shock, to a heart-wrenching recognition. His hand reaches out, a touch on Levi's face and it just feels so _right_. Like he's been waiting a thousand years and more for the feeling of Irvin's fingers on his skin, it's a practiced feeling, it's been repeated since day one and it's never ever changed.

Levi's expression wobbles. He feels the first drop of rain on his cheek, confused when it's not cold, but hot. He tastes salt, and he's surprised when Irvin's thumb gently wipes away these warm salty raindrops because he realizes he's crying, and he fucking _remembers _–

The dark-haired man launches himself at his Commander, kisses him senseless, as they sky breaks open and real drops of rain fall from the sky, like tears, pitter-pattering on the slippery wooden pier, trembling in his embrace.

"I've found you," Irvin whispers in Levi's ear, "I've finally, _finally_ found you."

**Because you could have loved me forever. And maybe in another universe, I let you.**


End file.
